5 Years Later.....

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. - 1 John 3:1-3


Hello all, its been exactly 5 years since my first blog post. How do I know? Well, my first post was on my 21st birthday, 11 Dec 2005, on a blog that blogger deleted for no reason...

Well... it was that 1st post, I remember clearly, that I said that 1/3 of my life was over. 5 years on, I guess even less of that 2/3 remains... Well... life is short and the 5 years just flew by.. Just so glad that I have the privilege and honour of taking part in God's grand and magnificent plan for the salvation and the end of the world....

These 5 years have been so eventful and included my year 2-4 in NUS and then 1 year in NIE and 1 year of teaching... I'm finally working and earning a monthly salary now.. so much has changed and I begin to wonder how much have I grown spiritually...?

This year, its my last birthday as a single, and when I look back on these 26 years, I can only say that God has been so wonderful and so loving towards me... and conversely I have been very much a true-blue sinner, constantly needing to come again to find forgiveness and grace from God based on the cross... I really thank God for His mercy and love that I still don't understand till today... All I know is that whenever I look to the cross and lay my sins there, I experience renewal and strength to face the future as well as a peace in my heart knowing that I am accepted by God.

God's blessings have been uncountable. He is indeed my Heavenly Father, giving good gifts to me whenever I need them. I thank God for my parents who have given me as much as they could give and filled up my "love tank" till it overflowed many times towards others.. Thank God for placing me in CYYAM where I found my passion - participating in God's eternal plans, doing things with eternal value, and where my character has been moulded so much in the past 10 years I'm almost a completely different person... Almost...

I also thank God for the many brothers and sisters whose company, friendship, and love never fail to inspire me to be a better person and to learn to love. Especially my co-workers and anyone who has been passionate for God as well - I am so glad to have friends whom I can trust by default, simply cos we have the same ultimate life goals and we care about the same things...

Another big thing, I guess, is to thank God for the things He has providentially placed in my life to mould me... It has been a difficult process to peel off layers of protection I have built around myself and to live a life of faith.... most obviously in my army years and now in the workplace - I'm sure many people can see the changes in me (hopefully more good than bad) ever since I stepped into school to teach - although I'm aware of these changes, I really hope that they are for the better, and that I will really continue to trust and do my best in spite of the difficulties and the injustices that I face...

Well, today was a day that I had some time to reflect... I guess the most pressing issue right now in my life is - how do I go into the next level of relationship with God? somehow, the past few weeks have felt stagnant and I am worried now about the lack of desire for God Himself and not just the things I can do for Him. Also, the lack of love for others that causes me to say superficial prayers for them. Please pray for me that I can quickly get back on track with God....

The future also seems uncertain at this point. What comes after the bond? Will I continue? What should I do? How will my life change after next year? I really don't know.. but I just hope that I can find God's will and follow His leading..

How can I have faith now that next year will be ok? Honestly, I'm dreading the start of school and how I'll be working close to 70 or 80 hrs a week again.. Taking a sec 1 form class, teaching more lower sec classes.... May God help me to look to Him for strength and to live victoriously through Him.

May God also continue to give us the joy of seeing Him work in others lives through us. It's just so great to see lives changed by God through us...

Well............ next year's big event in my life will be the wedding... Really hope and pray that we can be good children of God and glorify and honour Him through our life together. Help us, Lord!!!!!!

Perhaps 1/2 of my life has passed by now. Or perhaps only now its really 1/3 over. Lord, help me to live the rest properly.... and be a good child of yours..

Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures....Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. - Ps 90:10, 12

And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. - 1 John 2:28

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. - 1 John 4:7-12

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. - Colossians 3:1-4

These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. - Hebrews 11:13-16

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. - Hebrews 12:1-3

Psalm 42

Psalm 42
BOOK II : Psalms 42-72
1
For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah. As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.