5 Years Later.....

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure. - 1 John 3:1-3


Hello all, its been exactly 5 years since my first blog post. How do I know? Well, my first post was on my 21st birthday, 11 Dec 2005, on a blog that blogger deleted for no reason...

Well... it was that 1st post, I remember clearly, that I said that 1/3 of my life was over. 5 years on, I guess even less of that 2/3 remains... Well... life is short and the 5 years just flew by.. Just so glad that I have the privilege and honour of taking part in God's grand and magnificent plan for the salvation and the end of the world....

These 5 years have been so eventful and included my year 2-4 in NUS and then 1 year in NIE and 1 year of teaching... I'm finally working and earning a monthly salary now.. so much has changed and I begin to wonder how much have I grown spiritually...?

This year, its my last birthday as a single, and when I look back on these 26 years, I can only say that God has been so wonderful and so loving towards me... and conversely I have been very much a true-blue sinner, constantly needing to come again to find forgiveness and grace from God based on the cross... I really thank God for His mercy and love that I still don't understand till today... All I know is that whenever I look to the cross and lay my sins there, I experience renewal and strength to face the future as well as a peace in my heart knowing that I am accepted by God.

God's blessings have been uncountable. He is indeed my Heavenly Father, giving good gifts to me whenever I need them. I thank God for my parents who have given me as much as they could give and filled up my "love tank" till it overflowed many times towards others.. Thank God for placing me in CYYAM where I found my passion - participating in God's eternal plans, doing things with eternal value, and where my character has been moulded so much in the past 10 years I'm almost a completely different person... Almost...

I also thank God for the many brothers and sisters whose company, friendship, and love never fail to inspire me to be a better person and to learn to love. Especially my co-workers and anyone who has been passionate for God as well - I am so glad to have friends whom I can trust by default, simply cos we have the same ultimate life goals and we care about the same things...

Another big thing, I guess, is to thank God for the things He has providentially placed in my life to mould me... It has been a difficult process to peel off layers of protection I have built around myself and to live a life of faith.... most obviously in my army years and now in the workplace - I'm sure many people can see the changes in me (hopefully more good than bad) ever since I stepped into school to teach - although I'm aware of these changes, I really hope that they are for the better, and that I will really continue to trust and do my best in spite of the difficulties and the injustices that I face...

Well, today was a day that I had some time to reflect... I guess the most pressing issue right now in my life is - how do I go into the next level of relationship with God? somehow, the past few weeks have felt stagnant and I am worried now about the lack of desire for God Himself and not just the things I can do for Him. Also, the lack of love for others that causes me to say superficial prayers for them. Please pray for me that I can quickly get back on track with God....

The future also seems uncertain at this point. What comes after the bond? Will I continue? What should I do? How will my life change after next year? I really don't know.. but I just hope that I can find God's will and follow His leading..

How can I have faith now that next year will be ok? Honestly, I'm dreading the start of school and how I'll be working close to 70 or 80 hrs a week again.. Taking a sec 1 form class, teaching more lower sec classes.... May God help me to look to Him for strength and to live victoriously through Him.

May God also continue to give us the joy of seeing Him work in others lives through us. It's just so great to see lives changed by God through us...

Well............ next year's big event in my life will be the wedding... Really hope and pray that we can be good children of God and glorify and honour Him through our life together. Help us, Lord!!!!!!

Perhaps 1/2 of my life has passed by now. Or perhaps only now its really 1/3 over. Lord, help me to live the rest properly.... and be a good child of yours..

Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures....Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. - Ps 90:10, 12

And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. - 1 John 2:28

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. - 1 John 4:7-12

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. - Colossians 3:1-4

These all died in faith, not having received the things promised, but having seen them and greeted them from afar, and having acknowledged that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. - Hebrews 11:13-16

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. - Hebrews 12:1-3

Psalm 42

Psalm 42
BOOK II : Psalms 42-72
1
For the director of music. A maskil of the Sons of Korah. As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Cool...

I've been so busy that this blog has been dead for some time.... maybe also no inspiration to write lah... so anyway here's 2 cool videos.. makes me want to learn bass...



and the original players:

RC Bookmark

Click on the picture for the large version! =)

Revival

What is revival? I still can't answer that 100%, but there's 1 thing I know: a few months ago, we could smell it.... Now, we have tasted it.

I miss the camp already.. The mountaintop experience with God, now its back to the valley, the everyday work.. we must continue to be faithful... for the the joy that is set before us, and the sure hope of the glorious destiny we have, together, with God, in Heaven... Now is the time to work, the final rest will come soon.. Let's jia you together...... Miss everyone too.. but.. also excited to be able to all work together =)

In a few hours' time is the big transition in my life... welcome me to the working world, those who are in it.. Apprehensive but certain of God's leading and strength for everyday, just like how He has worked in us this camp, where I believe I saw some miracles...

Lord, let us not lose sight of the vision.......!!

Results!!

Thank God =)

A Sudden Post

A post out of nowhere will come suddenly when I realise that something big has happened...

Actually, today is the 2nd last day of school for me.... not just in this semester.. or year 4, or NUS, but strictly speaking... my life as a student. It just hit me a few hours ago... after finishing the FYP final presentation (which means that the FYP is 100% over). Before today ended, I was just rushing and rushing and being sian about all the work and waiting for it to end... All of a sudden today its like... will i even see these ppl again (my classmates)? Then.. like "will i even come back to the same rooms, the same buildings, walk along the same corridors?" Or... will there be another time in my life when i'm doing tutorials and projects with fellow classmates? Will i ever walk around the ARTS faculty area seeing USP ppl around everywhere and feeling the totally differing culture from science? Probably not. Its the end of all the freezing lecture rooms and ultra boring lessons (this one is good riddance) which are like 6 hours back to back with no break, starting from 8am, etc.... And the end of eating the canteen food which we are rather sick of... and the end of the relatively low responsibility days where we can just skip lessons at will and still do ok for exams, and not hand up homework if the weigtage is low enough. Where, when the lectures are over, I can go anywhere I want and afford to waste time simply cos the deadlines are not near yet. Sometimes... and mostly its at times like these... when you realise how much life is going to change... and suddenly the memories become nostalgic, even though a day ago you couldnt wait to get out of there.... what a time to reminise about the past 4 years..

Well... today is such a time... actually, I completely empathise with what I felt in the time from year 1 till yesterday.. and I still think the same way (that I don't like school)... but.. being such a sentimental person.. it seems that there are some things that I'll miss after all.... likely to be the freedom and lack of pressure (being more or less only responsible for your own things)... and maybe 1 or 2 slightly more interesting modules, as well as being able to tell ppl how ridiculously difficult physics is and the funny characters I meet...

But I guess, what really struck me was that there are some people whom I may never get to see again, and some people, though I will still get to see them, I may not have the same chances to interact with them in the same way... Its like just this feeling of like: "you mean thats all? thats all its going to be after suffering together for 4 years, its just going to be a simple "see you around" and we'll part ways for good?" It just seemed very unsatisfying and unfulfilling... something seemed to be missing from these relationships... something just seemed wrong or problematic with the idea of having friends and doing stuff together while it was economical or convenient or mutually benefitial, and then to stop contact once that was over. You can say that its not actually breaking of contact, but we all know what happens generally to schoolmates after graduation (except for a few)... Something in me just had this desire for relationships to last indefinitely... like the ending of any relationship is not desirable, even sad.. yet.. I know its inevitable that the nature of all these relationships is going to change.

How can I reconcile these? Is there a way, or something that can be done such that we know it was not all meaningless? I mean.. isnt it rather meaningless to make friends and then lose them a few years later? I believe that it is somewhat.. so besides trying as much as possible to keep in contact... I came to this conclusion that temporary relationships wouldnt be meaningless if there was an eternal component in them. Temporary vs. eternal. If something positive that can last for eternity can come into these relationships, then there would be true meaning - it wouldnt all be for nothing. And I guess.. the only way is to introduce my friends to God. Even if they didnt accept Him as Lord, I would have planted a seed in them that could grow into making an eternal impact. The relationships would be for something - worth something - instead of nothing. And if they came to know Christ the value of the relationship will immediately jump from 0 to an eternal one.. Oh how I desire that for my friends now! To be able to exchange something that is of temporal worth for something that has infinite worth and happiness included - that, I believe, will really make these years count.

Looking back, I am so thankful to God for mercifully putting some friends into my life in the physics cohort and in other modules that I have somewhat been able to talk to about Him occasionally. Its like.... sometimes I am so slack in trying to share the gospel to them, but some ppl actually come to me and ask by themselves! Thankfully, they do notice some differences about my life (some!) and seem interested to know more about Christianity... but I really feel that I havent been doing enough for my friends, probably too focused on my own feelings about school, etc.. Mainly, I regret not getting more involved in the lives of some other physics majors... and taking more chances to tell them about God... so i'll try to grab what chances i have left these few weeks while there's still reason to contact each other... and.. hopefully with God's help, I'll do better the next stage of life... if you can, pray a short prayer now for me and my friends that I can do my best to introduce God to them....

If you're a uni student and you're reading this, I hope what I just said makes sense to you, and that it'll inspire you to do the same for the people who are around you now.. life is short - studies are just a stage of life. 10 or 20 years later, which of the things you do now will really matter? What about 100 years later?? 1000 years later? Will the grades matter? Or whether you get the module you wanted - will it matter anymore? Hope that this little sharing on some of my thoughts today will be helpful or insightful to someone somewhere.... Actually, it applies to everyone and not just uni students... Life is short - make every moment count for eternity... May God help us to keep this in mind daily - whats truly important and significant.....

Ok... anyway... there're still more thoughts and reflections on the past 4 years in general... those will come probably after my exams... meanwhile... its another break for my blog, i guess.. till the next inspiration.... =]

Amazing Grace

Hello.. here's more good music.. originally wanted to post about tidying up my room last monday and tuesday... well.. maybe it'll come....

Pray For IRAQI Christians

Hey everyone, hope you all are willing to pray and give some money.. if you want to give some money, tell me and i'll do it for you, can pay me after that... thanks.. :)

Or, if u have a credit card, you can do it yourself here:

http://members.opendoorsusa.org/site/PageNavigator/GiftCatalog20082009

Last Sunday In 2008

And so ends the last sunday of the year... as well as the last evangelistic event, yesterday, and soon the last week of 2008... time sure flies... and more so when u count the years...

Today was a unique sunday for me.. very unique. For the first time in like 5 years (estimate), i didnt attend sunday service, cos i was at home in case my mother needs any help or looking after... she had bad stomachache but thank God now she's already ok... actually, i had stomachache too, but i think mine was normal lah =)

Then, went to Church, fellowship as usual (hand cramped a few times trying to play the classical guitar for the welcome song, which was almost all bar chords!), then... at night something most unique - JC class reunion!

Such reunions just make people think back to the times they spent together... I can hardly imagine that it was almost 8 years ago when we first met in Jan 2001, ACJC, for orientation and then met as a class... really can recall those days - the days of nonsensical games trying to make guys and girls stick closer, mass dance, then lesson after lesson, day after day... i guess the more memorable times were caused by the super playful classmates pranking each other and the teachers (oh man....) and the fun fair that we did, trying to raise exorbitant amounts of money from cheap stuff and a lot of marketing and peer pressure. (It all went to the school.).. Well... its been like 6 years since i'd seen some of my classmates.. strangely everyone seemed not to have aged much... but i guess the stuff we're doing are really different... one girl is engaged already.. another is a lawyer now (or soon), and another one working for the Nu You magazine (some of u know her).. as for the guys, most are still studying... well, actually only 7 ppl came and the rest are probably overseas... rich ppl lah...

Sometimes it seems like not long ago when we were still in class, dozing off and laughing at lame jokes... i feel like i'm not that old yet.. but seriously.. its been almost a decade since the beginning of JC. Just another indication of something important - we all dont have much time left in this world... when 6 years can pass like that... army + many long holidays and university life... it can be concluded that drifting through life year after year without any purpose or any knowledge of where one is going is very possible and very likely to happen to those caught unaware.. we can pursue many objectives in life but at the end... what do they all count for?

Yup.. those are my thoughts for the reunion... as for 2008, really thank God for many things (already listed in prayer req, but here they are again):

1. for His grace in each one of our lives, especially in 2008 - many ups and downs but His purpose prevails through it all
2. for another year of our lives over - 1 year closer to Heaven, but also 1 year less to do His work
3. for the Church and CYYAM and all those who care for us - its a joy to be loved and to love
4. for His faithfulness throughout the years and His love for us sinners
5. for the events in Dec - really good although tiring, and for the YA and YF work that He has blessed
6. for the chance to serve Him and to experience life at the fullest, together..

And some prayer:

1. for each of us to refocus back on God before the new year begins - equip ourselves (in His Word) to do His work
2. for follow up work to be done especially for the recent events - that we will do our best for each and every seeker to feel God's love
3. for 2009 - that CYYAM will be able to continue to grow in depth and width and continue to put our all to advance His Kingdom
4. for each of us individually to experience the victory in life from giving our all, 100%, to God
5. for closer walk with God everyday for everyone in CYYAM and our Church in 2009
6. for revival to come in 2009 - that seems to have already begun...!!

Yup... guess 2008 was a memorable year and many things happened... really happy to see the YA and YF growing and be part of it... its truly a joy... and its my hope that in 2009, we'll all continue to grow closer to God, desire Him and His Word more, and as a result, be greatly used by God to advance His Kingdom, wherever we are....




On a side note, I just saw an article that gave a new perspective on President Bush:

http://sec.online.wsj.com/article/SB123025595706634689.html

To summarise, the author actually is a friend and aide of the president. In the past 3 years, they have challenged each other to see who can finish more books and each year, and although the president lost, he has read 95, 51, and 40 books for 2006, 2007, and 2008. Amazing. And just look at the books he reads.. Not story books or those easy reads.. History, biographies, and current affairs make up the main portion of his list. And, most importantly to me, he read the Bible once through each year as well. This is definitely only possible through great self discipline.. as President of the US, i'm sure he is as busy as we can be.. and yet he can find time to read through the Bible once? thats like 5 chapters per day.... all of you who have tried before know what its like... and on top of that, about 1 book per week, non-fiction?

I guess this shows that it is possible to make better use of our time... We dun need to read so many books but at least the Bible for a start...? I'll try to do this in 2009 and finish the whole Bible... another self-discipline related issue to work on... :) remind me ok...?